Uncle Johnny's Hostel

Road Calisthenics


Spivey Gap to Erwin TN (Uncle Johnny’s Hostel) 13 miles

As usual on a “getting into town day” I got up early; actually, Barbarossa bellowed out a wake up call at 6:15 to let us know we were over-sleeping. Nothing had tripped the raisin-baited deadfall in the night. The rock wasn’t heavy enough to really get anything but I didn’t tell Rolex that, well, maybe a mouse or something, but nothing bigger. I was hoping it would have at least been tripped; but alas, nada.

We got out and I really needed to use a privy. I did some pack calisthenics in the middle of the first road we crossed and Cyclone took some snapshots. I think they won’t be very flattering but what the hell, you can’t always look good right? We had a shelter coming up so I figured I’d have a place to drop my drawers; but of course, no Privy to be found. I got a little peeved at my brothers there and told them to go ahead, I’d catch up. I eventually caught up but the need for bathroom was becoming a major urge. I blasted past them to try and run down the trail in sufficient time so as to make a bathroom at the bottom but it was not to be. I had to do what the bears do and it was a close call to be sure. The hill into town was long and steep and there’s not much of a selection of defecation sites when you’re on a sleep slope. I didn’t want to go bushwacking up or down in this terrain. The foliage was thick and I was getting frustrated; not to mention the pain in my gut was mounting. The only sort of level part anywhere around is the actual trail and you can’t do it there; plus, it was Friday and there were a day hikers occasionally coming up the trail. I wasn’t about to be squatting just off trail when a couple of Girl Scouts came up (even if the thought of some Thin Mints was enticing) so I was going to have to get off trail some where. I’ll spare you the details except to say that it was rough. I found a spot that went off toward a cliff that overlooked the river about a thousand feet below. As soon as I got into place, Black ants were trying to eviscerate me and flies were not only precognizant but telepathic as well. I heard my brothers pass close by as I hadn’t realized how close the trail came to the site of my struggle. Soon I finished my business and got back on the trail a little lighter, hoping to catch them again.

I caught them as they were talking to a woman who was coming up the trail with her dog. We seem to be in better spirits today and we finally made it down together; although, I know the guys were confused when I came up from behind them after passing them earlier but I’m sure they got the picture quick. We got in to Uncle Johnny’s around 1PM and the hostel was right on the trial. He has his own outfitter and a cool porch that we hung out at until we got our accommodations. It has been really hot around here lately and refreshments were in order. We checked in, did laundry, got some bicycles and headed to the post office to get our brand new sunglasses from Native Eyewear http://www.nativeyewear.com (as well as a tent and some other things). We ate and went to the movies and saw both Zohan and Indiana Jones. We rode bikes back to the hostel in the dark with lightning about five miles out. It was a warm summer night and life was good. We stayed up telling stories and talking to the people we knew who had come in while we were in town. I played guitar while a bunch of people got drunk on the picnic tables. I don’t know how these guys can get drunk and then hike the next day. I couldn’t imagine trying to do these hills hung over. Oh well, I don’t ever have to worry about that again…

David AKA “Jukebox”

Website:
http://www.brotherproof.com
Blog:
http://brotherproof.blogspot.com
Pictures:
http://www.photobucket.com/brotherproof
Film:
http://www.youtube.com/wbaf1
Myspace:
http://www.myspace.com/brotherproof
David's Website:
http://www.davidpatrone.com